£250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

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£250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Captain Meowmix » Sat Feb 09, 2013 6:15 pm

Astra Mk4 comfort, 2001 51-reg
1.6 16v engine (cheap tax/insurance but also very nippy!)
Blue
5-door
Air conditioning
CD player with steering wheel controls
4x electric windows (rare!)
Twin airbags
Electric mirrors
Power assisted steering
Colour coded bumpers
Recent new exhaust
Recent new radiator
Recent new thermostat
Full stamped service history (stamped at 17k, 30k, 50k, 69k, 87k, 106k, 119k, 128k
Plus lots of reciepts for other work carried out
Current mileage 135k
4 legal tyres, 2 are actually not far off being new

The car drives very well, the brakes, suspension and gearbox are all nice and tight. If it showed 50k on the clocks you would believe it!

Bad points:
- Rear bumper has a crease in it from a parking mistake. £20 for a replacement in any good scrap yard or eBay
- I was told by a previous owner the car sometimes overheats, although I've not seen it do this
- Interior needs a clean
- No tax
- I'm told it's MOT'd till June but can't find the certificate

I am selling it for £250. This price is not negotiable. I can take a few bits off it and scrap the rest for more than this! Tidied up this car is worth £1000. Because I'm selling it cheaply this means it's sold as seen, with no warranty expressed or implied.

Genuine buyers are most welcome

God i'm turning into Glenda :tears: :no:

Thankyou

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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:18 pm

Take it to the nearest MOT station with V5 and they'll give you a duplicate certificate for a tenner. If they refuse because they didn't test it then report them to VOSA. Failing that go on the DVLA website thing, twat the reg and the V5C number in and it will tell you when the MOT runs out.
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Captain Meowmix » Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:53 am

Cheers dude, but it sold within an hour of the advert going up!
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:21 pm

You will NEVER be me either. Your hands and cock are far too small, plus you're never going to be anywhere near my stratospheric rate of fanny magnetism.
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Captain Meowmix » Tue Feb 12, 2013 7:26 am

My liver is also too intact, and I haven't wet myself in at least 4 weeks :D
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Limecat » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:13 am

Glenda The Dog Shagger wrote:You will NEVER be me either. Your hands and cock are far too small, plus you're never going to be anywhere near my stratospheric rate of fanny magnetism.


Billy clearly didn't pay attention at school. It is all to do with poles. Not the foreigners that will take your job you Thatcher hating cunt but the poles of a magnet. They repel too. Billy the 'bi-polar' Man, it doesn't matter if a splitarse is 'north or south' he can repel them faster than Lostboy repels a meal with less than 3 trillion calories. :boohoo:

P.S. The mention of the size of hands and cock leads me to one simple conclusion. Big hands for little jobs...

P.P.S. Get back to making shit house music. :dance:
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:23 am

I'd rather be bi-polar than bi-sexual like you, you unwanted advance making TWAT :D
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Limecat » Wed Feb 13, 2013 12:31 am

Glenda The Dog Shagger wrote:I'd rather be bi-polar than bi-sexual like you, you unwanted advance making TWAT :D


Advance?

Fuck off.

The only advance you have a chance of getting is a community chest card saying 'go straight to go' so that you can pocket another £200 for fuck all and piss it up the wall.

Even when you get that you sweat like a typical scouse bastard as you pass the jail incase you get recognised and hauled back in. :no:
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:42 am

When your highly successful stocks and shares trading allows you to move up to a Rover 214, you might want to take the opportunity to become self employed. You could run three companies, one for the shares, another for your hobby job and the other for importing K-seal for your wanky little pensioners car.
I'd like to suggest PLASYANK for the buying of shares, PLASMANC for the K-seal business and SPAZWANK for your weekend job in the care home wearing rubber gloves and tugging off other raspberry ripples like yourself.
You could soon be the richest (lady)boy in Oldham Quays and move up to a pied-a-terre, duplex linked luxury apartment on the top of Paraffin Lamp Hill, where you could look down your nose at the wankers who only have one level of cardboard box house, not two like you.

Now jog on back to your Lancashire poverty, you fucking turps nudging Harold Ramp. xxx
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Limecat » Wed Feb 13, 2013 9:08 am

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hi ... ts-1706635

So, would you not have enough left out of your fraudulently obtained Disability Living Allowance to sub petrol or is it too far to walk in your Gola trainers?

Billy is another one of those moaning about horse meat in food. His palate isn't distinguished enough after years of rats being the only meat in his gruel diet.

Oh, just so you do not get confused a palate is not one of those wooden things you steal from the back of Farmfoods to provide fuel for when you are all huddled around that old oil drum in your charity shop hat and gloves. You could simplify it as 'taste' but it isn't measured by how many people at the benefits office like your poundshop wallpaper.
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Captain Meowmix » Thu Feb 14, 2013 4:27 pm

Glenda The Dog Shagger wrote:When your highly successful stocks and shares trading allows you to move up to a Rover 214, you might want to take the opportunity to become self employed. You could run three companies, one for the shares, another for your hobby job and the other for importing K-seal for your wanky little pensioners car.


FPMSL :pmsl: :pmsl: :pmsl: :rofl:
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Limecat » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:24 am

Yeah. You got me there.

It's a right bastard when my NAV floats about each day by more than some people have amassed in their lifetime.

Damn.

I chose Life.

Choose wife. Lose a job. Lose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines in the garden, eBay cars, stolen compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose crap health, high cholesterol and dental problems. Choose fixed-council house rent in the hope you qualify for 'right to buy' even though you hate Thatcher. Choose a council flat. Choose stolen scrap metal. Choose leisure wear from the pound shop. Choose a marine fishtank on the drip until you realise you haven't got a clue and stick them in the fryer. Choose cirrhosis of the liver and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing ownage on the Internet, stuffing cock up Tranmere fans arseholes as it is the ONLY team you can fuck currently. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a nursing home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats your wife spawned with the window cleaner to replace yourself. Choose DWP. Choose fuck up . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to fuck up life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you're not Billy?
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:21 am

Nothing floats with you, you fat sweaty cunt. The closest you've come to having a wash is pissing your scrundapps after imbibing too much tramp juice on Oldham Common.
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Captain Meowmix » Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:11 pm

Lord Smugtwattington wrote:Choose fixed-council house rent in the hope you qualify for 'right to buy' even though you hate Thatcher


:tears: :tears: :tears:

This is neck and neck :pmsl:

Fucking GOLD this shit :thumbs:
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Re: £250 Astra Mk4 1.6 16v, 5dr, FSH, good spec

Postby Andrei Chikatilo » Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:44 pm

Chose talking about buying houses, flash apartments, sports cars and shares. Chose actually driving round in a Metro because you live with mum and sell gas meters to confused pensioners over the phone.
Chose twatting on about how much you have in the bank yet driving a Metro and having a scrapyard outside your front window. Chose not supporting Oldham anymore because you can't even afford the £1.20 admission fee. Chose not being on MIG anymore because 14 year olds were running rings round you. Chose driving a piss stained, cunt bucket of a car. Chose having puppies on the back seat and Werthers Originals in the glovebox as you cruise past local junior schools. Chose living life as a lie, trying to impress people on the internet.
Chose Hal Al neighbours, washing that smells of curry, chose a wife with a red spot on your head. Chose being a plastic Mancunian with shit for brains and an outside toilet to dump it in. Chose cobbled streets, winky wanky woo wooden windows that are rotting away. Chose Oldham. Chose giving up on life because you have FUCK ALL.
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